


How could I ever let you go ( Bokuto Koutarou x reader)

by AL__17



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Addiction, Descent into Madness, Drug Addiction, F/M, Falling In Love, Kidnapping, Love, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, Possession, Possessive Behavior, Stalking, Yandere, Yandere Bokuto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:21:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27181717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AL__17/pseuds/AL__17
Summary: She controls every inch of me, my body, soul, heart, and mind. I have to visit her a few times a day, otherwise, I fear I'll go insane. It hurts to be away for too long and when I do I start to feel weak, my body aches, and I struggle to act rationally not that I ever did.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou & Reader, Bokuto Koutarou/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	How could I ever let you go ( Bokuto Koutarou x reader)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy the story 
> 
> Bokuto Koutarou loves you very dearly

I have a master. She controls every inch of me, my body, soul, heart, and mind. I have to visit her a few times a day, otherwise, I fear I'll go insane. It hurts to be away for too long and when I do I start to feel weak, my body aches, and I struggle to act rationally not that I ever did. When I finally see her, everything seems whole, the world is whimsical and pure. She is all I need, all I could ever want. she is flawless.

It only takes a few careless encounters and then I fell for her. 

The first time I saw her was during one of my volleyball matches. Her neck would snap back and forth in fascination during the game. I happened to catch her stare. I could see wind-stirred waves in her eyes. She looked so pure similar to an angel.

I then saw you again at another one of my games.

When you looked at me it was as if every ounce of breath was taken from my lungs floating into the air like midnight smoke.

She became my everything.

I would do anything to get to her; lie, steal, cheat. She changes you into somebody that would sicken most people, but you can't help but love her for it. Love the energy and happiness she brings.

I later found out we went to the same school. You were a junior while I was a senior. I knew if I didn't get close to you now I would graduate and end up losing you forever.

I always lived my life in the moment. 

Meeting you was the best of luck and the worst - now my brain says nope to every other girl or guy I meet. I try to reason with it. I say you are far away and we only met a couple of times. Still. It's you or be alone. That's my new reality.

You can't be separated from me! This heart was angry when I was without you. And that today I met you once more, this heart says that it is colored in your colors! I am yours. Be mine. Nothing in me is mine; it's all yours. I've fallen in your charm; make me yours. This new feeling- it aches my heart, angel. How long? I can't wait! And when your heart came across mine in its path, every beat was marked, by your grace. I have risen to meet you; hidden in your heart. The moment you are with me- I rejoice in life in that mini-second. Getting you was all I wanted; I have no more wishes. Christ has done his deeds for me! I am made from you, and I am needless without you.

You walked out as if you knew you were a god and I wondered why the universe had led me there on that night. Surely you were looking for weren't looking for anyone. Yet, as things became quickly apparent, it was destiny and fate taking control of chance - to give us a chance, one more chance to take that leap.

It was a mile walk back home from your part-time job.

you didn't remember seeing anyone that day. you started walking and listening to music on your iPhone.

You felt him before you saw him. As anyone that runs or walks alone can tell you, there is usually a pattern to it. When you see someone else, that person will always sustain a certain space or distance. You may acknowledge each other with a nod but the other person never gets too close.

you were walking along and then you someone was standing too close to you. He was a couple of steps behind. You couldn't quite see who it was tho. Now you have to understand this is a huge walkway and there is no need to even be in the vicinity of anyone else. Also, he never acknowledged me, just keep walking a couple of steps behind me.

The whole thing just felt off to me. You know that feeling where you know something isn't quite right but every instinct you have is telling you that you may be in danger. So you walked faster. He immediately picked up the pace as well.

At this point, I went from anxious to scared. You didn't know what to do.

You kept up your fast pace and finally, something dawned on you. You pulled out your headphones so that the music from iPhone was on the highest it could be...which is not that high (thanks Apple) but at least someone could potentially hear it.

You were getting to the end of the street and at that point, there were only two things you could do turn around go into one of the convenience stores you pasted and go back in the opposite direction or start running as fast as you could. You were weighing your options but before you could make a choice was pressed to the front of your face. You thrashed and tried to push him away only for him to hold you tighter suffocating you.

You don't remember what else happened, you just remember waking up somewhere you never been before.

His addiction was such that he cared for nothing else. Everything put on a great facade, even tho you were the only thing he cares for. He would lie, cheat, and steal for it. He became someone else. He wasn't the energetic volleyball team captain you loved to watch. They say to love the addict and hate the addiction. But I'm ashamed to say that all I love is the memory of who he was. This addict he is now is like a demon wearing his skin, talking with his voice, crushing my soul. He manipulates me and wheedles into my affections then without conscience he deceives me and extinguishes the hope he had tentatively built up in me. Sometimes, on my blackest days, I wonder what I would feel if he ever stopped loving me. I wish he would.

I once asked him to describe how he felt about me and why he did all this. He looked at me with those dead eyes and said "Imagine a rat gnawing on your living flesh. Now imagine you had a magic stick to poke that rat away within your hand, and if you poked that rat you would be filled with the most glorious feeling of contentment and warmth. Imagine using that stick would bring you to a level of happiness you had never achieved before, a personal nirvana that you never wanted to leave. Now imagine you are told not to use that stick and to let the rat keep on gnawing. That's my addiction, that's why all these therapies and groups will never work. You can detox me all you want but that rat is going to come back one day and when it does I'm going to be reaching for my magic stick. 

Now there is nothing to stop me. Forever together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading  
> Comments are greatly appreciated  
> Have a lovely day:)


End file.
